Finding the girl who ran with dresses on.: June 2015

Summer is here and upon us in Western, North Dakota. Which means baseball, sport camps, fishing, work, sleeping in- no schedule.

Truly, an amazing time filled with no planning and "going with the flow"

One of those going with the flow days was this past Friday my daughter and I were having some girl time. The men at our home decided to do some evening last minute fishing. So us girls, we went on an adventure which included a bunch of sweet deals rummaging, a yummy latte, and lastly, spending the evening at the local Rec center, playing in the outdoor water park.

As we pulled up to the Rec, we quickly got acquainted to our first time in the new spot, and before you know it-we were climbing the steps (46, yes I counted) to slide down the ever famous water slides.

The first time we climbed to the top, the daughter called that she got the "orange one" which left me with the famous red slide.

As I quickly agreed, my mind switched to analyzing why the red one would be my first ride.

Did the slide know that red is one of my favorite colors?

Or did it know I've been working on safety in my root chakra center, which is red?

Before I came up with an answer to my mindful questions the lifeguard stated it was my turn and I was in the water on my bottom headed down the slide.

You see I never even looked at the slides when we got to the water park. I had no idea (other than they took 46 steps to climb) what this red slide was all about.

And all of a sudden I heard a scream (was this really my voice?!) as I slid past the first corner.

Then I saw it.

The red slide finished with a big (better word, huge) drop down to the little pool puddle at the end.

And, me- the girl as a teenager that liked to go on every roller coaster at six flags in Il- well she's gone. Shes changed. She likes her feet planted on the ground, (and if she feels like flying its in her dreams in an angelic sense)

So, as my eyes finally seen the drop, I did the first gut feeling I thought I should do- I held on.

I grabbed the side of the slide so tight, trying to win the war with the water current not to move my body down the slide. I held on for my life.

Like a mother holds onto her growing child. Like a victim holds onto a past, like a nurse holds onto severe dementia patients hand-I held on.

Looking back I felt like I held on for lifetimes. But, observers state I only did not move for a couple seconds.

And when the water pressure got to be too much, when my mind switched from complete terror- to an oh f*** it.

I let go.

I landed on the bottom in the pond (I talked about earlier) with a good wedgie , a sore shoulder, and a bruise on my elbow.

And, I layed there in the puddle with my mind filled PTSD of the big red slide, lesson.

I thought.

That big red scary slide- well that's life.

Either way it promises you a ride with ups and downs. Bruises and band aids.

The water pressure, is the force. Some call it energy. It's here, to move you. It doesn't care how long it takes, there is no charge on what kind of pressure you use or not use to heal, but truly in the end it might give you a wedgie, but the ultimate goal of the pressure,

well it's love.

And me, the person on that slide, the nurse, the mother, the victim, well I chose to believe I am here to feel all the emotions I felt during the waterslide ride (terror, aloneness, scared, peaceful-at the end of course!) and put a bandaid on, possibly get a massage, and then chose to ride the red slide of life again.

Then, finally- dont forget to live, and be able to write and talk about it. phew.

So, here I go.

Till next time friends, kids are hollaring at me to join them on the slides- time for round 2!

Happy Summer!!

Michelle, the girl who is learning to run with dresses on.

Fyi- objects in pictures are way bigger (Promise, way huger) than they appear.

Finding the girl who ran with dresses on.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Choosing to grow!

The story of the BIG red slide-

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